ABOUT                RSS                PERISCOPE               BUCKO               SCRIPTS               CONTACT




  • Snow Ho Ho!


    This picture of my street is already dated and doesn’t show how much snow we really have now; you’d not see anything poking through today. The Cold Meiser was clearly victorious in his battles with the Heat Meiser, and Portland has snow like it hasn’t in 40 years. Longtime locals are shocked by it, but I’m shocked to keep finding out friends of mine don’t know what SNOW CREAM is. Obviously your parents didn’t want you to know there were metric tons of dessert just sitting in your backyard. So my holiday gift to you is How To Make It.

    It’s easy! Go out and fill a big bowl with the top couple of inches, the fluffiest snow. If you screw it up, there’s plenty more. Now in another bowl mix up milk (you can go all the way and use a can of condensed milk if you want), a half cup or cup of sugar- depends on how much you’re making, an egg (some people aren’t cool with putting a raw egg in things, but it really holds it together well) and a splash of vanilla extract. Mix that goo all together and then starting mixing in snow until it’s the consistency of hand-cranked ice cream- which this essentially is. Voila, dessert from the very sky.

    Hope you’re all getting some time off and enjoying whatever you do at this time of year. I might put up some snow pics over the next few days since that is all I see!


    Comment from David Hahn
    Time: December 24, 2008, 11:48 am

    Snow Cream? WTF? Your childhood stories always seem more and more like you grew up in a Chuck Palahniuk novel.

    Comment from David Hahn
    Time: December 24, 2008, 11:50 am

    Then again, I come from a place where Ready Kilowatt always wore a sombrero.

    Comment from Terri Nelson
    Time: December 24, 2008, 11:59 am

    Oh my god. SNOW CREAM. This is going to way out-do my Laura Ingalls Wilder moment earlier in the week, when I poured maple syrup on a pan of snow and ate it.

    Comment from Parker
    Time: December 24, 2008, 1:05 pm

    David: exactly.

    Terri: You must make it NOW. And I hope you guys are taking lots of pictures of all this.

    Comment from odessa steps magazine
    Time: December 24, 2008, 1:36 pm

    If this was a more ribald blog, I’d speculate on possible other definitions of SNOW CREAM.

    Comment from Martin Thomas
    Time: December 24, 2008, 3:52 pm

    Snow, eh? I remember that stuff. Haven’t had a proper snowfall here for 20-odd years.

    Season’s greeting to all.

    Comment from Butch
    Time: December 24, 2008, 4:40 pm

    Sometimes… I hate the Philippines. :)

    Happy holidays Jeff and everyone!

    Comment from zailo
    Time: December 25, 2008, 9:13 am

    I am pretty sure this is another attempt by Parker into fooling people into eating stuff from recipe’s that he makes up on the spot. He gets off on fooling people. Anyone remember the “pinecone breakfast burrito” fiasco?
    Happy Holidays!

    Comment from Eric
    Time: December 25, 2008, 11:05 am

    I think snow cream must be a North Carolina thing. Everyone I’ve mentioned it to has scoffed as equally as everyone here.

    I’ve also always heard that you should wait until the second or third snows, because of something to do with sulfur in the atmosphere. When I had a friend who worked at the Books-A-Million cafe, she’d make snow cream with blended ice, milk and vanilla syrup.

    Comment from Parker
    Time: December 25, 2008, 11:35 am

    Thanks Martin and Butch- and Zailo, you lie!

    Eric, maybe NC should change it’s motto to “The Snow Cream State” because I keep getting blank stares from others who grew up in much more snow. My mom used to wait for the second snow which drove me nuts- “what if it doesn’t snow again!!?” I waited until a few inches had fallen and detected no sulfurous content.

    Comment from Beast
    Time: December 25, 2008, 12:32 pm

    Avoid the yellow Snow Cream!!

    Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, Jeff.

    May 2008 be a great year for you. In all your pursuits.

    Comment from Beast
    Time: December 25, 2008, 12:33 pm

    Gah, I’m already doing 2008 when I mean 2009.

    How embaressing.

    Comment from Terri
    Time: January 4, 2009, 8:48 pm

    Okay, I am sitting here eating a big bowl of snow cream. It’s the fourth or fifth snow, so I’m safe, I figure. This is the kind of thing that makes the neighbors think I’m insane, you know. I was out in the front yard with a soup ladle and a bowl, cackling.

    Comment from Parker
    Time: January 5, 2009, 9:09 am

    I bet you added chocolate syrup to it too just to be hardcore. Good huh?