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  • Jeff Parker Book Signing in Portland

    Except… it’s not me! It’s emerging writer Jeff Parker who has already had acclaimed short stories and is reading from his debut novel Ovenman tonight at the Mississippi Pizza Pub on 3552 N. Mississippi Ave. It’s an appropriate reading place, as the central character in the book works at a pizzeria. I’ve read some of Alternate-Jeff’s fiction in online excerpts, and sadly, it’s good. He’ll probably rise pretty fast and force me to change my name. Which is fine, that’s accepted in people coming from the comics world, a la Moebius. So if you have new names for me, send them on.

    One day I’m going to profile all the alternate Jeff Parkers on the internet like the jazz guitarist, realtor who owns the domain name I should have, and so on. Generally they’re all the best in their respective fields, as is to be expected of all with the name… Jeff Parker.

    Comments

    Comment from gettis
    Time: August 30, 2007, 9:12 am

    Just to clarify, are you looking for names or the names we already call you….? :)

    Comment from Ben Herman
    Time: August 30, 2007, 10:24 am

    What’s your middle name? You could use your middle intial, or call yourself Jeffrey, or even both. Or you could simply go by Parker, no first name needed. If none of those float your boat, there’s always Hey You :)

    Comment from Parker
    Time: August 30, 2007, 11:02 am

    Yeah, if I wanted to command respect, I could just use Jeffrey Scott Parker. In real life, everyone does just call me Parker, and oddly did even when I was a kid.

    You!

    Comment from Eric
    Time: August 30, 2007, 1:59 pm

    J. Scott Parker would work except you might get confused with that Campbell guy.

    Is there a former assistant secretary of state named Jeff Parker? No? Didn’t think so. The Eric Newsoms of the world win it.

    Comment from David Oakes
    Time: August 30, 2007, 3:04 pm

    “Dolphin Boy”.

    Comment from zailo
    Time: August 30, 2007, 3:44 pm

    In your list be sure to index all the Geof Parkers as well. I have a distant cousin who works in real estate who hates me for beating her to zailo.com. bwahaha!

    Comment from Chris Sims
    Time: August 30, 2007, 4:50 pm

    So, no Ovenman/Interman team-up then?

    Comment from Chris Ferguson
    Time: August 30, 2007, 6:47 pm

    Hey Parker,
    Maybe you could make your own movie as well:

    http://www.googlemethemovie.com/

    ‘Google Me’, a documentary feature film now in production,
    explores the connection between a person’s name, their identity,
    and the underlying human condition that unites us all.

    Comment from Bret
    Time: August 30, 2007, 7:50 pm

    Jeff, with all due respect, you are not the greatest in your field. You need to include at least three more M.O.D.O.K.s, two Fin Fang Fooms, and one other Kirby monster of variety to be determined later before you have that honor. You’re, like, number… five, five plus.

    Comment from Bret
    Time: August 30, 2007, 7:52 pm

    Not that theres anything wrong with that.
    Especially considering Jeff Parker the realtor, in one hundred years, will only remembered as number eighty three.

    Comment from Parker
    Time: August 30, 2007, 9:52 pm

    I am the Greatest! I’m so Pretty! Superman don’t need no seat belt!

    Comment from Spencer Curran
    Time: August 30, 2007, 9:54 pm

    New name?
    REX STORM (all caps, all the time): Former super-spy, world class lover (natch), and funny book writer extraordinaire.

    Comment from Spencer Curran
    Time: August 30, 2007, 10:27 pm

    Actually, make that Professor REX STORM. just to lend it an air of credibility

    Comment from Parker
    Time: August 30, 2007, 10:37 pm

    Well, the title does make REX STORM sound somewhat less pornstar-ish. And on that subject, are they really all “stars?” Isn’t anyone a Character Porn Actor, or Supporting Role? (And yes, I see the obvious joke I just set up there…)

    Comment from Eric
    Time: August 31, 2007, 3:27 am

    If you’re going to be a professor, why not just go ahead and make it Dr. Rex Storm? Unless you’re Rex Storm…MFA! Or Rex Storm…all but dissertation!

    Comment from Ben Herman
    Time: August 31, 2007, 6:26 am

    REX STORM, ESQ. You write funnybooks, and in your spare time chase ambulances!

    Comment from David Oakes
    Time: September 2, 2007, 6:26 pm

    Parker: “Isn’t anyone a Character Porn Actor, or Supporting Role?”

    Back in the days when Porn was actually movies, and made some vague attempt at plot, there were “actors” that made a living just showing up as the Comedic Sidekick.

    Or so I have been told.